The Sisters

The Sisters

Friday, December 23, 2011

Sarah Cate: Figuring it out

Dearest family

Well this week....I guess I gained a testimony this week of why President only tells us a day or two before we are transferred (and I know in many other missions its just like a 24 hour notice type of thing but the TSAM is my mission so that's what we're going off of). Knowing for almost two weeks now that Sister Jones is leaving has been one of the most interesting instances on my mission. I realized that this last week I have had such a hard time with her going home because it has made me think about MY home and me going home so much that it punched me out of missionary mode and back into "selfish Sarah" mode. It was a dark and ugly place and I don't want to go back! --I guess all that went down about two weeks ago and at the start of last week was the healing process into becoming a missionary again. I know it sounds silly and ridiculous but it has been rough. My companion lost much of her desire to be a missionary so it became harder and harder to do missionary work. As a result I found myself swinging the opposite way and wanting to become more and more a missionary and never leave. While I understand both sides, I know that both sides are flawed. God wants balance in all things. While its good to want to be a missionary, I cannot resent my companion for her lack of desire. That is not what Christ wants us to do. If I am truly a missionary, I will be the best disciple of Christ that I know how to be. Love everyone regardless of anything. Our Heavenly Father loves us all. He doesn't love anyone more than someone else. God is not going to reward me for being a "good missionary" when I am holding ugly feelings against my companion. I have become purified in Christ. I do not have "floaties" in my figuratively clean body. If I do, I am not allowing Christ to help me. I am denying his power and his sacrifice. Who do I think I am?!
I am a missionary now. I am back to being a missionary again. Loving everyone and anything that steps in my path. I met the ugliest dog this week and I loved that dog like I haven't loved a lot of things in my life. I feel like that dog is me! Heavenly Father looks at what is on the inside and when I look, on the inside, as ugly as that dog, Heavenly Father still loves me.
 We still have very few people that we are working with. I know that this will change. I just put my shoulder to the wheel and dig deep into my pioneer stock and have faith in every footstep! I listened to some primary songs this past week and thought about the simplicity and how I have truly been taught all I need to know from such a young age.'s taken me a long while to figure that out. 
Ok sorry for my rant. That is quite enough. I am going to be covering two areas until I receive my new companera. I will be covering Barton Creek (my area) and Riverside (SPANISH AREA)!!! YAHOOOO!  I get to have about 4 days worth of Spanish. Its a blessing. I will be working with the Missionary I went on exchanges with: Sister Hopkins. I am super excited about that. She is a great missionary. She is still being trained so I'll train her  for about a week and then we'll see what adventures transfers hold. We have Transfers the 21st of December and then Christmas Conference on December 22.
We are going to have only sacrament meeting on Christmas Day and ours is at 9 in the a.m. here. (I am playing my violin during the service and as prelude music) --don't worry the ward circulated an e-mail about my "talent" and how I am supposedly a concert violinist. Oh yikes. a year of not practicing really hurts my heart and hurts my technique even more. 
 I love y'all so much. I am so sad to hear about Grandma Hymus. --sorry I can't spell the name but I love her very very much. I cried when I heard about Grandpa. I think about all y'all a lot. Oh please give them loves and hugs when y'all see or talk to them. I just love them so much. God knows what is best and its the hardest when it seems like life is crashing in on you but if you allow God to lead you by the hand, he truly directs you for Good. There is so much comfort in the scriptures and learning about the people in them. God will not give you something you can't handle. He makes our burdens light. Not always in the way that we want, but in the ways that we need. God is aware. Keep in touch with him and he will bless you. Build that relationship.
 I love y'all so much. I miss ya even more. This was a very "missionary" e-mail. yahoo. Heavenly Father and Jesus love you. If you don't know that, just ask them.
 Dad- are we related to a  Rasmus Krogh Sorensen...born in 1880? If so, I found some cousins....surprise surprise!

les amo mucho y les extranio tambien. Tengan salude y esfuerza y perseverar hasta el fin!!! 

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