This past week has been particularly hard for me. My dear companion and the real reason why I was transferred from Encino Park has been struggling a lot and decided this past week that she will be leaving for home next week. I have felt like I have failed and have doubted my own abilities very much. I don't know what will become of me. There are two areas that they need Spanish speakers to train and not enough people are Spanish speaking right now. Thanks y'all for cheering me on. I think we all need cheerleaders in our lives. I have had a real opportunity to understand the Savior's atonement so much more. Its difficult to explain. The vast expanse of the Atonement is jaw-dropping. I have learned so much going through the good and the hard times that God knows us as individuals. He sends us Angels. He knows when we are at our wits end and can not go on. He allows us to feel this way because he trusts us to grow. He knows its time. Sometimes it takes us longer to understand and come around back to his loving arms. They are always outstretched to us and want us to find safety in him and if we will but trust him and his plan for us, things will always work out. Sooo much of this is so easy to say but in practice, there in is the challenge. I guess I always knew I was in Heavenly Father's arms but I never knew how big are far reaching his arms were. I also easily forget how tight Heavenly Father holds us. He doesn't loosely hold us but he holds us enough to carry us. We are the ones that push that security away.
I will be better this week. We have yet to find an investigator here. We didn't teach ANYONE this last week. That is really hard as a missionary. It really breaks my heart and doesn't help my feelings of being inadequate. I was completely side swiped when I received a package in the mail....................MY CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!!!!! Man I am so blessed to have a family that follows the spirit and sends me something just when I thought I couldn't take any more. Y'all were my angels. I sat on the couch and cried as I pulled out all of my unique and individual ornaments. Oh they warmed my heart and soul. They made me smile and I now have them hanging up in our apartment. I took some pictures that I will try to attach. Thank you thank you thank you!! ESPECIALLY BILL AND LESLIE and their family!! Y'all are beautiful.
So my beautiful story happened at the beginning of the week. oooohhhhh just so y'all know, I dyed my hair and cut it. :) SURPRISE! Yeah I needed to change it and it had been bugging me for a loooooong time. Don't worry, nothing too crazy but it is now brownish red. I love it. (if I were home, I would probably go more radical red and put some blond in it) But its enough of a change. The lady that cut my hair was an adorable Vietnamese lady. She was great and I love her very much but my hair cut....well let just say I left feeling like I looked like a "very mature in years" Asian lady. I tell you these things because when we went to paint nails at the rest home I was wheeling someone to their room after painting her nails and all of a sudden, a man started to follow me in his wheelchair--you know, scooting and shuffling his feet while in the sitting position. Well I thought it was just a coincidence until he followed me into a room and the lady said "who is that and why is he in here?!" and I said "I don't know. Hey buddy, I'm sister Sorensen. What is your name?" and all I got was two big blue eyes staring into my soul.......uuuhhhh ok. What do I do? so I just told the lady that we would figure it out. ---eeewwww grosss old lady fingernails.....yikes i just remembered how bad they were last week.......ok its over. Sorry. Anyways, so he followed me out of the room and then back down to the room where we paint nails. I didn't notice him there until one of the nurses asked him what he was doing there. he said "I'm waiting for her" and I said "me?!" So I ended up taking him to a room for a "men's meeting" and when I went to go, he said "I don't want you to go. You aren't leaving are you?!" oooohhh my heart broke and I wanted to say "no no no I'm staying here forever. Don't worry. " but --reality check!--- I had to paint nails and fulfill my missionary purpose. I then told him that I was coming back next Tuesday and I would see him then. Well, all this did nothing. He still would followed me and would not leave my side. Here is the punch line though everybody: This dear sweet man had a wife who volunteered painting nails. Don't worry she is about 60 years old and.....you guessed it.....ASIAN!!! yes. this dear old man confused me with his wife. wooooooooow. I love being confused with 60 year old Asian ladies. It was a tender mercy this week. hahaha I hope y'all are laughing because I am.
I also got to go on exchanges this week. This was another great blessing in my life. I got to serve in Riverside. This is the highest concentration of Spanish in the entire mission. I got to teach more lessons in Spanish than I ever did in Del Rio. We spoke the beautiful language of Spanish the entire day. I loved it. I am not so good at it but I loved it. The Lord is blessing me with opportunities to speak the language I was called to serve in. I am lucky.
Please don't ever forget how much I love y'all. I miss y'all like crazy. Thanks for being the best family in the world. Thanks for the updates on everything and everyone. If you find yourself talking about me to someone, give them a hug from me. I love y'all beyond words.
Su Hermonita Sorensen